I haven't talked to my sister (or my mom or other two sisters who were all present) since the birthday party debacle. I don't know that I want to talk to them about this particular thing. My feelings are still hurt. Hubs and I aren't really that open about the whole not having children thing with our family (particularly mine because they don't seem to understand confidentiality) so I don't think that not inviting us was to protect us, I think my sister just forgot. I had an ugly cry about it on Saturday night and now I'm trying not to think about it.
As it gets closer to February and pregnant sister 1's due date I'm feeling sad. Not sad for her, I'm glad for her that she was able to get pregnant when she wanted to and that she's getting the little girl that she wanted, but I'm really sad for me. I know that I don't need to describe why I'm feeling sad because I know you all get it. I guess that feeling ambivalent didn't last for long. And I get to go through all of this again in June. Yay. Just another thing (or two things, I guess) that I'm trying not to think about.
I'm also trying to forget a conversation that I had with my mom last week regarding pregnant sister 1's texts to me complaining about being pregnant and me (kindly but firmly) informing her that I wasn't the best person to send these types of messages to. She told me that I hurt my sister's feelings (ok, I can see that), that I "needed to grow up and quit being selfish," and that I should call my sister to apologize. It's really nice to have my own feelings acknowledged (sarcasm intended).
We're rapidly approaching the one-year mark of receiving an infertility diagnosis and realizing that treatment options that were available to us weren't likely to succeed. Trying not to think about this either.
To end on a positive note, I've read four books in January and have started a fifth that I might finish before the end of the month. I'll write a post at the end of the month with all of the titles so I can keep track of everything. Another positive is that I was engaged in a work-related conversation about maternal age and Autism risk and not one of the three people involved in the conversation inquired about my reproductive status. That was nice.