Hubs and I planned a date day yesterday. We decided to go to the really awesome Natural History museum that is close to our house and then out to a late lunch. When we got to the Natural History museum and it was overrun by families with young kids. We really didn't feel like dealing with that so we changed plans and went to the art museum instead (they are right beside each other and we hold a membership that grants admission to both). We had a great time wandering around the museum together. On the way out hubs needed to use the restroom and I didn't so I sat down on a comfy couch in a little alcove and started leafing through a book. Not 30 seconds later a woman with a baby walked in, sat down on the couch, and started breastfeeding. Here is what followed:
Me: (closes book, places it on the table, and gets up to walk out of the alcove without saying a word or even looking at the lady)
Breastfeeding Lady: I'm allowed to feed my child wherever I want to!
Me: (pauses and then takes another step)
BFL: You heard me!
Me: (at this point I was pissed, I turned around to face her) I am well aware that you can feed your child wherever you want to. It is my right to not have to see something that I don't want to see too. That's why I got up and tried to walk away.
BFL: Breastfeeding is the most natural thing between a mother and a child!
Me: (I'm so pissed that I'm about to have a stroke) So you think that just because you were lucky enough to have your reproductive system function correctly that you can call a random stranger out in a public place for doing absolutely nothing wrong while simultaneously flaunting your reproductive capabilities?
BFL: (stunned and speechless)
Me: (on a roll) For your information I can't have children and seeing you breastfeed your child is a very visceral reminder of what I'll never get to experience. So I could care less that you are feeding your child but I don't want to see it because it hurts me. I tried to remove myself from the situation but you felt the need to call me out. Let this be a lesson to you that things aren't always as they appear. Maybe in the future you could try being a decent human being and not assume that everyone is out to get you.
Thankfully hubs walked out of the restroom and saved me from going batshit crazy on this lady and making a scene. This whole interaction took maybe 30 seconds but it was 30 of the most uncomfortable seconds that I've experienced in quite a while. I probably should have just walked away but it did feel pretty good to stand up for myself! I've come a long way in the past few months. Four or five months ago this probably would have reduced me to a puddle of tears.
Oh, and we went on to have a great rest of our date day. I didn't let that stupid lady get me down!
Good for you! She made an assumption about you that was wrong (albeit probably because she was feeling very defensive about people who disagree with breastfeeding in public), and was unreasonably aggressive to you. (Another example of hurt people hurting people). I'm glad you explained your actions, because you corrected her assumption (that you were anti-breastfeeding in public), and stood up for yourself at the same time. Well done.
ReplyDeleteMali, you made an interesting point. I had previously failed to consider things from her perspective. I bet she had been made to feel bad for feeding her child. Thanks!
DeleteI don't care if people breastfeed in public but I can't stand when this holy right to breastfeed is pushed into my face assuming that I should care for some reason. I just don't, and I wouldn't if I had a child. I would've also get up as you did because I would want to give the woman some privacy. It looks like she didn't need the privacy because she was there on a mission.
ReplyDeleteOh well, to each his own...
Agreed! I also don't really care that she chooses to breastfeed or where, it's just hard for me to see it so I don't willingly put myself in a situation where I have to witness it. I honestly think that she was just looking for a fight and didn't expect somebody to give it back to her.
DeleteIf moms want to breastfeed in public, that's fine, it doesn't bother me... but nobody says we have to stay around to watch. And maybe you had some other reason for leaving when you did?? It's not always all about you/them, right? Good for you for calling her out; I'll bet you made her think.
ReplyDeleteThat's just the thing! I actually firmly support her right to feed her child in whatever way she sees fit wherever the kid needs fed. But her right to feed her child doesn't trump my right to not want to see it.
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