When you go through infertility it seems like there is something at every turn that causes pain. You seek out support of those in similar situations. These are the people who know the pain of an unexpected pregnancy announcement. These friends know how a scan pic can ruin a day. Newborn pictures. Complaints about pregnancy. These things and so much more can take you from ok to a an ugly cry in a millisecond.
Yet it seems, at least in my experience, that these very people, friends who know the pain of infertility, seem to forget it all the moment they get a positive pregnancy test.
Announcing a pregnancy on April Fool's Day.
Using a scan picture as a profile picture.
Posting weekly "bump" pictures on Facebook.
Complaining about the gifts that people buy them because the gift isn't exactly what they want.
I could go on and on and on.
All by people who know the heartache of infertility. All people who just months or a year ago openly complained about these very things. Yet now that they are pregnant they do the very same things that once caused them so much pain and heartache.
I guess that I hold friends who went through infertility and later ended up pregnant or wound up with their take home baby to a higher standard. Normal people don't bother me (as much). They don't know what it's like to see the months turn into a year and then into years. They don't know what it's like to try every old wives tale to try to get pregnant. They don't know what it's like to see a fertility specialist and all of the impossible choices that this brings. They have sex, they get pregnant. I can excuse them. But not my friends who battled infertility and eventually got what we all wanted so badly. They should know better.
Is it right that I hold them to a higher standard? I don't know. Probably not. But I do, and I don't think that it's going to change anytime soon.