I'm not feeling very Christmassy this year. There. I said it. I'm not a grinch by any stretch but I'm just not that into it this year. Maybe it's because we've had an unseasonably warm December? Our average daily high for the past week or so has been around 60F (15.5C), which means I haven't even been wearing a jacket. Maybe it's because life has been really busy. We've been on the road for various family obligations for three consecutive weekends, and have the fourth (and final!) this coming weekend, but at least it's not an overnight trip. We didn't even get the chance to decorate our tree together this year because we've both been running around like crazy. Maybe it's because work has been super busy (since August) and I'm just plain exhausted. Thankfully after Thursday I will be off until January 5th, which is a very much needed break!
Really I think it's because I had some romanticized notion of the perfect Christmas, and the perfect Christmas included a couple of kids. But we're not going to have kids. Ever. We'll never surprise our kids with the perfect Christmas gift. Or worry about where in the house that gifts would need to be hidden so that they won't find them before the big day. I'll never get to teach my kids how to bake cookies and hubs will never get to play legos with them.
I'm not saying that Christmas with just me and hubs (and the dog) can't be awesome. Or perfect. It's just not the Christmas that I imagined for so many years. We're starting our own traditions, and they are fun, it's just different than I ever could have imagined. Eventually we'd like to travel someplace warm (and adults only!) over the holidays but we've decided that this is off the table for as long as our dog is alive (which we hope is at least five more years!) because he's our family and he doesn't deserve to spend Christmas away from us.
Sometimes I wonder if infertility permanently zapped my holiday spirit. I guess I'm just feeling a bit down today.
So I guess that my question is: Does anybody else get the holiday blues? What do you do to help yourself snap out of it?