Tuesday, December 15, 2015

I'm not feeling very Christmassy

I'm not feeling very Christmassy this year.  There.  I said it.  I'm not a grinch by any stretch but I'm just not that into it this year.  Maybe it's because we've had an unseasonably warm December?  Our average daily high for the past week or so has been around 60F (15.5C), which means I haven't even been wearing a jacket.  Maybe it's because life has been really busy.  We've been on the road for various family obligations for three consecutive weekends, and have the fourth (and final!) this coming weekend, but at least it's not an overnight trip.  We didn't even get the chance to decorate our tree together this year because we've both been running around like crazy.  Maybe it's because work has been super busy (since August) and I'm just plain exhausted.  Thankfully after Thursday I will be off until January 5th, which is a very much needed break! 

Really I think it's because I had some romanticized notion of the perfect Christmas, and the perfect Christmas included a couple of kids.  But we're not going to have kids.  Ever.  We'll never surprise our kids with the perfect Christmas gift.  Or worry about where in the house that gifts would need to be hidden so that they won't find them before the big day.  I'll never get to teach my kids how to bake cookies and hubs will never get to play legos with them.

I'm not saying that Christmas with just me and hubs (and the dog) can't be awesome.  Or perfect.  It's just not the Christmas that I imagined for so many years. We're starting our own traditions, and they are fun, it's just different than I ever could have imagined.  Eventually we'd like to travel someplace warm (and adults only!) over the holidays but we've decided that this is off the table for as long as our dog is alive (which we hope is at least five more years!) because he's our family and he doesn't deserve to spend Christmas away from us.

Sometimes I wonder if infertility permanently zapped my holiday spirit.  I guess I'm just feeling a bit down today.

So I guess that my question is: Does anybody else get the holiday blues?  What do you do to help yourself snap out of it? 


  1. I also get the holiday blues.

    One of our favourite December is ordering Netflix in early December and enjoy in it for two months. Now we watch: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2249364/ (we both love it).

    I agree with you. It is not that I am not having any nice time. But my holidays are so much different as I imagined. I guess I just need time adjusting. And letting the dreams go. Or better said: I already let go my dreams, but somehow they always return, few weeks before Christmas.


    1. It makes me feel better that you get this way too. I mean, I'm not happy that you feel down too, but it's a relief to know that I'm not the only one!

      I might check out that series! I do love David Tennant. :)

  2. This is going to sound weird, but I take a bit of comfort in my mother at this time of year. Her kids are grown and gone, and even most of my nieces and nephews are in high school or college. She loves Christmas, but its not about the little kids anymore so its not really that fun for her. She gets the Christmas blues when deciding whether or not to even get a tree (we both usually break down and get one) but it gives me an odd sort of comfort that it is hard for her too, the mother of 4 (not that I want my mother to be sad!).

    This year, I'm pretending that Christmas isn't happening. Things aren't great at home, and I've been mired in that for a few months and haven't had time to deal. I did break down last night and get a tree (the smell and white lights bring me so much joy) but I've told all my loved ones who know what is going on that I'm skipping it this year. Luckily they all understand.

    I think creating your own traditions is the way to go, and I love the idea of escaping someplace warm when the right time comes. There is a lot of expectation out there, most of all our own. Redefining them is hard but critical. And paying attention to what really brings you joy. Sounds like your hubs and your doggie do. Hug them.

    1. I guess it is comforting to know that someone with kids gets a little blue around this time. I guess that "different than I imagined" isn't limited to people without kids.

      Hugs to you! I'm so sorry that things are really crappy for you right now!

  3. I'm a bit up and down about Christmas this year, simply because it is going to be very very quiet. I don't mind quiet when we have planned it to be quiet though, so this week I'm finally able to focus a little, and have decided to do a few things that will be more Christmas-y for us, and make the day a bit more special.

    It is natural to mourn what you are missing though, especially those first few years (maybe even first five or ten years) and you're allowed to do that. You shouldn't feel that it is compulsory to enjoy an adult Christmas. Not right now. It will come to you - but to be frank, it takes time.

    1. Thanks so much, Mali. You just validated my feelings. I hope that Christmas is special for you this year!

  4. Gosh yes! For me Christmas is up there with Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. One of the big three... Knowing that my Christmas fantasies will always be just fantasies makes it a day tinged with a touch of sadness. No nephews/nieces on my side and hub’s nephews/nieces are all late teens or older.

    It’s hubby’s job to put up the tree and he does it enthusiastically every year in the first week of December. If it was up to me it probably wouldn’t be done until the 24th - less of a reminder I guess.
    We always have Christmas with extended family – his or mine depending on the year. This year we are hosting, keeping busy makes the day go faster!
    I don't hate Christmas it's just a particular day I'd rather not have to face up to.

    It’s summer here so the days are long and hot; all that extra sunlight does help to keep the blues to a minimum, and some time spent pottering out in the garden before the heat of the day ramps up usually also helps.
    A b̶o̶t̶t̶l̶e̶ glass or two of wine also helps, because you know, it does get hot, a lot!
    Cheers Kathryn

    1. I think that I would love Christmas in the summer! Hubs and I usually do the tree during the first week of December too, but didn't get around to it this year. Finally one day last week I worked from home and made the executive decision that it was going up, because if we waited until a time when we could do it together it would be the 23rd before it went up.

      None of our family lives within a two hour drive from us, so that's why we designate two December weekends to do Christmas with family. Thanksgiving has been at our house for the past couple of years, but that didn't work out this year, hence the three weekends.

      Also, I'm all for wine!

    2. I’ve grown to appreciate the advantage of a summer Christmas in helping with the blues... never thought I’d be saying that (definitely not a summer person).
      As kids it was the full hot lunch and the pudding bubbling away in the saucepan and the temp was often in the mid-high 30s (Celsius) and there was no air conditioning.
      Now we usually start with a cold seafood platter, and the hot meats are likely to be matched with an Asian salad and the pudding might still be served hot but the custard might be cold and there will also be ice cream and tropical fruits to choose from. We still suffer the food coma but just blame it on the heat of the day (making no mention of the amount of chilled alcohol consumed)! ; )