I went to the dentist today to have my teeth cleaned. I have one cavity and one filling that's chipped and needs replaced. I like the practice I go to, it's a father and son who are both dentists and a small staff. The hygienist who cleans my teeth is really great. Well actually she's a bit annoying but we talk about dogs and she asks me about my job and such. She talks about her kids, but just in a conversational, in passing sort of way, not in a way that bothers me. She's never asked me if we have kids. The first couple of times I went to the office I saw the son dentist (who is my age and has like four kids), and on about the third visit, a couple of weeks after we got the infertility diagnosis, he casually asked how the kids were. That didn't go well. I figured they put a "for the love of god don't ask her about kids" sort of note in my file. Apparently not.
Today I saw the dad dentist who I've seen a couple of times (I have bad teeth....) after the hygienist was done with the cleaning. Everything was going fine until he asked if I had any kids. I said "No. We can't have kids." Rather than taking the hint and changing the topic, he suggested that my husband and I look into natural family planning because it helped him and his wife to avoid pregnancy when they wanted to and get pregnant when they wanted to. To which I replied that I was really glad that it worked for them and then asked the hygienist something about her dog.
There are many things wrong with and awkward about this interaction, but I'm choosing not to focus on those. I'm sort of used to unsolicited fertility advice at this point. The thing is that I'm used to unsolicited advice from women and not men. Usually when men ask if we have kids and I say no the conversation moves on. They don't usually offer family planning advice. It was odd. I'm sure there was no malice intended and he just wanted to share something that worked for him and his wife but that's just the thing. So many assumptions were made with no consideration whatsoever about the impact of his words or how they would be received.
I was having a good day today so I was able to shake it off but on a different day it might not have been so easy.
I got my period today. My first official post-IUD period. I got the IUD on March 17th, spotted for 71 consecutive days (yes, I counted) which included a month of medication to make it stop, had a week off, started spotting again for a week, and woke up today to my period. I hope this means that things are normalized and even more I'm hoping the bleeding will actually stop this time. I was thinking about periods and realized that three months of near continuous bleeding is merely an annoyance compared to my non-IUD periods (a friend was flabbergasted when I told her that). Also, starting my period today explains my lack of sleep over the past couple of days.