Wednesday, December 31, 2014

2014 in review

I figured that I would do a year in review type of post.  So here goes!  There have been a lot of good parts, some bad parts, and a whole lot of growth.

The good:
  • My relationship with my husband is much stronger in 2014 than it was in 2013.  This year has challenged us and stretched us nearly to our breaking point several times, but rather than drift apart, we've drifted closer together.
  • Hubs and I celebrated seven years together and three years of marriage.
  • I got back into the gym and have been hitting it really hard since August.  Exercise is one of those things I gave up for trying to conceive.  Taking care of me is my priority now.
  • Hubs and I spent Christmas at home this year rather than trying to attend everything that everybody wanted us to attend over the holidays.  We took care of us.  
  • We started to selectively open up to family and friends about our infertility as we've felt strong enough to do so.  For the most part the people we've told have been pretty supportive, have respected our privacy, and haven't (for the most part) said unintentionally hurtful things.
  • Professionally I had an awesome year.  Looking forward to continuing it into 2015!
  • We decided to quit trying to have a baby and to not pursue treatment or adoption.  To remain childfree.  It was also good that hubs and I were on the same page about this and it was good just to make a decision and move forward with it.
  • I discovered blogs and then started blogging myself.  I'm so lucky to have found the support and friends that I've found! 
The bad:
  • Hubs and I found out that we were unlikely to conceive without IVF (likely with donor eggs).  We decided, quickly, that this wasn't an option that we had the emotional fortitude to pursue.  We had to give up our dream.
  • Two of my three sisters are pregnant.  I suppose this is good for them, but it's bad for me because it is yet another reminder of what I don't/can't/won't have.
  • All of the hard and ugly emotions that come with making the decision to remain childfree.

Goals for 2015:
  • Survive the birth of my niece and whatever the second baby is without going off the deep end.
  • Continue to feel what I'm feeling as I feel it. It's hard work but no good will come of not dealing with my emotions.
  • Continue to hit the gym.  I'd like to run a couple of 5k and/or 10k races this spring/summer/fall.  Maybe even a half marathon in 2016.  
  • I am going to read at least two books a month for pleasure.  I've always read a lot, but somewhere along the line my reading transitioned from reading what I want to read to reading for professional purposes and I want to change that.
I'll be completely honest, when I started writing I expected my list of bad things to far outnumber my list of good things.  It didn't turn out that way at all!  I won't lie, parts of 2014 have really sucked and I would choose not to repeat this year again, but it has been a year of tremendous growth, and for that I am thankful.

So now I pour a glass of something and toast the new year.  Here's to 2015!


  1. Lovely to see your long good list.
    Happy New Year!

    1. It was really nice to see. When I was done writing, I read the list and immediately wondered why I'd focused so much of my attention and emotions on the bad things. A lot of good things happened. I have a lot to be thankful for!

  2. An excellent list, and I like your goals for 2015. The last two years I've set myself book reading goals, and failed miserably. I think two books a month is sustainable, and still counts as impressive.

    1. I'm sure that I will fail miserably too. At some point something has to give and reading for pleasure is usually one of the first things to to. But it's a good goal to have and I will work hard to achieve it! :)

  3. That is a hard year. I wish you lots of strength and healing and inspiration as your forge a new and fulfilling path. Running has always been helpful to me at my lowest points for reclaiming mind and body from the ravages of infertility, so I think that's a great place to start!

    1. Thanks! I've never particularly liked running, but I'm beginning to. It's definitely helping me reclaim parts of me that were lost!

  4. All the best to you in 2015! :)