- In August I wrote about my good friend bringing her baby home from the hospital. I don't think I wrote about my first interaction with her after the baby was born. Hubs and I dutifully sent a gift for the baby (well, a gift card for a large online retailer since shopping for baby things is hard and I refuse to spend money on things I think are stupid, a wipe warmer, for example) and she sent my husband and I a message on Facebook thanking us for our generosity. Except instead of just expressing appreciation, she gave a detailed rundown on labor, an eventual emergency c-section, and the baby's short time in the NICU. This friend is one of the few people who know about our situation so I was taken aback and quite hurt that she would share these things with me. Now I realize that her world had just been completely changed and that she was probably inundated with congratulatory messages and people wanting details and for efficiency's sake she just copied and pasted a standard response to save on time, but it hurt me deeply that this friend who knows about our infertility would not think before sending such a message. Anyway, I talked to her on the phone for the first time since the baby's birth earlier this week. I'll never tell her how badly she hurt me because deep down I know that it wasn't done intentionally. We had a good conversation and it was nice to catch up, but it was painfully obvious that we're in different places in our lives now. I'm going to try really hard to continue a relationship with her because the truth is that I have a really hard time making friends, so I don't want to lose those that I do have.
- We're going to spend this weekend with my family and next weekend with hubs' family. I'm feeling ambivalent about both trips. I don't know why I feel this way but I do. I'm sure that once we get to both places it will be fun.
- I gave up on sleep around two this morning. I couldn't think of anything better to do and I had four eggs that I needed to get rid of, so I made noodles. Everybody raves about my noodles so I'll take them with us this weekend. Too bad I didn't have time to make chicken stock too.
- Commencement is one week from today. I have a ton of grading to get done between now and then, but by this time next week, I'll be hours away from having two weeks off. I am so looking forward to this break.
- Hubs and I got engaged five years ago today. His proposal was a complete and total surprise. I always joked that he'd never pull one that good off on me again. Well this week he came damn close. When I was growing up my family had a Christmas Countdown Calendar, specifically the 1987 Avon Christmas Countdown Calendar, and I have very fond memories of fighting with my sisters about moving the mouse. I have always wanted this calendar for my own house. Last weekend my sister sent me a picture of my two nieces and nephew at my parent's house moving the mouse (to which I responded "little jerks"-meant with love, of course). I showed the picture to hubs and mentioned that I'd love to have one for our house. Unbeknownst to me he went online, found the exact calendar, and bought it. It came on Wednesday and he surprised me with it when I got home from work that evening. Yes, I cried. Below is a picture with me with my Christmas countdown calendar. It's a terrible picture, I was a gross mess after a workout, I hadn't even taken my jacket off, and I'd been crying. I don't even care because it is a great memory!
So that's some of what is going on in my life at the moment. I'm looking forward to my Christmas break. I have drafts of a few blog posts that I want to finish, edit, and publish that are on my agenda for break as well as cheesy Christmas movies, and reading. Christmas will never be how I imagined it to be a few years ago, but we get to start our own traditions this year and it's going to be great!
Oh, what a cute Advent calendar!! I bought one several years pre-ttc, and I still put it up every year. It's felt with a Christmas tree & metal pegs/grommets on it. There are 24 pockets, each with a little felt "ornament" & each day I hang a new ornament on the tree. Love it! Who says you need kids to have fun at Christmas??
ReplyDeleteYour calendar sounds adorable too! I don't think that kids are a prerequisite for a fun Christmas either! I was miserable on Christmas last year and I refuse to let myself be again this year.
DeleteHow nice it is to see your photo! You are beautiful.
ReplyDelete(and a calendar is lovely too).
kind regards from sLOVEnia,
Klara
Thank you, Klara. I don't like to have my picture taken at all, let alone after a workout, so I was a bit self-conscious to share it. Maybe someday I'll share a good picture!
DeleteI LOVE how you emphasize the LOVE in sLOVEnia! I also love your name. Klara is one of my favorite girl names (my name is also an uncommon K name).
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DeleteI'm really sorry your friend hurt you. You have at least been able to understand why she probably did it. But yes, it still hurts. One day, you might be able to tell her you found the details hard. A friend gave me a book to read when I was in hospital with my second ectopic pregnancy - the first half of the book was a man gushing about how wonderful it was to be a father. The book she'd given me the year previously when I had my first ectopic saw the main character have a miscarriage. I told her a few years later, when I could laugh about the ill-timing of it all. She was mortified!
ReplyDeleteYou have a very thoughtful husband. And you look great! (You should see me after a workout. Wait. No, you shouldn't!)
Yum - I love the idea of making noodles. (The noodles themselves from scratch?) I must try it. I love love LOVE noodles - any type. Carb addict.
You are right, Mali, maybe one day I will be able to talk to her about it and laugh. Right now to discuss it would only hurt me more and would make her feel terrible. Neither one of us needs that right now.
DeleteThe noodles are from scratch. My grandma taught me to make them years ago and I have honed the skill over the years. The recipe is quite simple (flour, eggs, milk) and it is somewhat labor intensive, but totally worth it. I am a carb addict as well! If I eliminated carbs I could probably lose weight quickly, but I would rather eat the carbs! :)
Lots going on in your world pulling you in different directions! Reading about the painful interaction with your friend brought back many similarly awkward and difficult interactions from the past -- but in a different light this time around. I see now, with some distance, how bumpy those transitions into new stages of life can be. Some of the very friendships that were tested to the core emerged stronger. New life stages (for both parties) brought new opportunities to reconnect. Hope that your upcoming break brings some welcome time to recharge your batteries. xo
ReplyDeleteIt is good to hear that your friendships emerged stronger. I hope these bumps in the road can be overcome and our friendship can withstand this challenge, much like yours did.
DeleteThe break is very welcome and needed. I am so fortunate to have a job where the schedule is pretty darn good. Most people don't get a break around the holidays like I do. While a lot of my break will be spent working, there is a huge difference between working from home in my pajamas and having to go into the office.