Monday, October 6, 2014

The evolution of my Google searches

Last night my husband wasn't feeling well so we had a quiet evening at home.  He complained numerous times about his throat hurting, and since he refuses to take any kind of cold medication or even Tylenol, I figured a nice frozen margarita would help his throat.  As I was making his margarita (and one for me too, of course) I got to thinking about Tequila  at which point I realized that I didn't know what Tequila was made from.  Naturally this led me to Google where I entered "What is Tequila made from?" into the search box.  This made me think about how my google searches related to having a baby have evolved over the years.

Around 5 years ago (before TTC) my searches looked something like:
Could I be pregnant if I haven't missed a birth control pill?
How often do women on birth control get pregnant?

Around the time we started trying to conceive my searches looked something like:
How to get pregnant quickly
How long does it take for the average woman to get pregnant?
How long does it take to get pregnant after birth control?
Due Date calculator

A few months in to TTC my searches were gems such as:
What are the best kind of cloth diapers?
What is the best car seat?
Maternity leave laws in my state?
Birth centers in my area?

Then worry started to creep in:
How to take your basal body temperature
Ovulation charting
Ovulation tests
What does a positive ovulation test look like
How many times should we have sex to get pregnant?
Supplements to improve fertility
If you have a BFN at 14 DPO can you still be pregnant
Old wives tales to get pregnant

Then we made the decision to get tested:
Reproductive Endocrinologists in my area
Who is the best RE in my area
How long does it take to get an appointment at an RE
What types of tests will an RE run?

After we got the results:
What are the chances of getting pregnant with DOR without IVF?
Cost of IVF
Cost of IVF medications
What is IVF like
IVF success rates for women with low AMH
What do you have to do to get certified for foster care?

A few months after that:
Will we be ok if we never have kids?
Benefits of being child free
Childfree after infertility blogs
Will I ever feel ok after infertility?

It's funny to me how my searches have evolved.  I think back to the types of searches and how they painted an accurate picture of the worry that slowly started creeping in.  So to address my searches from a few months after we were diagnosed with infertility:

  • Yes, we will be ok.  In fact, we are stronger than ever.  Definitely stronger than we ever were in the depths of TTC.
  • Full nights of sleep, doing what we want when we want, not having to budget for childcare or a college fund, no dirty diapers, no teething etc.  Of course, we'll miss out on a lot too, but we're figuring out our Plan B and how it's going to be awesome!
  • I didn't even know what I would get when I searched for child free after infertility blogs, and what I found was a goldmine.  What I found was an extremely supportive community of women who have gone through this same thing who are willing to share their experiences so other women don't have to feel so alone.  Lisa's Life Without Baby blog and her book are the first that I discovered.  I read her entire blog from entry one to present and her book in a weekend.  Then I discovered Mali's No Kidding in NZ blog, which I also read from the beginning to present.  Then I discovered Pamela's Coming2Terms blog which led to the Silent Sorority blog and her book, which I particularly connected with for some reason.  Now I'm working my way through Loribeth's The Road Less Traveled blog. I'm sure there are many other good ones that I haven't even found yet! 
  • To answer the last question, I know that someday I will feel ok.  I'm doing really well right now.  I've felt ok for over a month, but I also know that I'm early in this process and the bottom could fall out at any time.  
While I won't lie, I would very much rather have a baby (or two), but the fact that I've found this super supportive community makes this crappy process so much more manageable.  Oh, and Tequila is made from Blue Agave.


  1. Thanks for the shout out, Kinsey! So glad you're moving in a new search direction.xx

    1. I'm happy to give you a shout out anytime! You are a trailblazer and tireless advocate for women and accountability in the fertility industry and you have a message that needs to be heard.

      Oh, I can now add "ASRM Call for Proposals" to Google search history. Admittedly searching for what different liquors are made of was much more fun. :)

  2. I am floored -- honoured -- that you have taken it upon yourself to go through my entire blog!! Thank you for that. I am glad you have added your voice to the growing number of us who are blogging from this particular corner of the infertility community.

    1. It has been a pleasure to go through your blog! I've laughed and cried and come away from it knowing that I'm not alone, and that is worth it's weight in gold. I'm sure you've been told this before, but you really should write a book!