Around 5 years ago (before TTC) my searches looked something like:
Could I be pregnant if I haven't missed a birth control pill?
How often do women on birth control get pregnant?
Around the time we started trying to conceive my searches looked something like:
How to get pregnant quickly
How long does it take for the average woman to get pregnant?
How long does it take to get pregnant after birth control?
Due Date calculator
A few months in to TTC my searches were gems such as:
What are the best kind of cloth diapers?
What is the best car seat?
Maternity leave laws in my state?
Birth centers in my area?
Then worry started to creep in:
How to take your basal body temperature
What does a positive ovulation test look like
How many times should we have sex to get pregnant?
Supplements to improve fertility
If you have a BFN at 14 DPO can you still be pregnant
Old wives tales to get pregnant
Then we made the decision to get tested:
Reproductive Endocrinologists in my area
Who is the best RE in my area
How long does it take to get an appointment at an RE
What types of tests will an RE run?
After we got the results:
What are the chances of getting pregnant with DOR without IVF?
Cost of IVF
Cost of IVF medications
What is IVF like
IVF success rates for women with low AMH
What do you have to do to get certified for foster care?
A few months after that:
Will we be ok if we never have kids?
Benefits of being child free
Childfree after infertility blogs
Will I ever feel ok after infertility?
It's funny to me how my searches have evolved. I think back to the types of searches and how they painted an accurate picture of the worry that slowly started creeping in. So to address my searches from a few months after we were diagnosed with infertility:
- Yes, we will be ok. In fact, we are stronger than ever. Definitely stronger than we ever were in the depths of TTC.
- Full nights of sleep, doing what we want when we want, not having to budget for childcare or a college fund, no dirty diapers, no teething etc. Of course, we'll miss out on a lot too, but we're figuring out our Plan B and how it's going to be awesome!
- I didn't even know what I would get when I searched for child free after infertility blogs, and what I found was a goldmine. What I found was an extremely supportive community of women who have gone through this same thing who are willing to share their experiences so other women don't have to feel so alone. Lisa's Life Without Baby blog and her book are the first that I discovered. I read her entire blog from entry one to present and her book in a weekend. Then I discovered Mali's No Kidding in NZ blog, which I also read from the beginning to present. Then I discovered Pamela's Coming2Terms blog which led to the Silent Sorority blog and her book, which I particularly connected with for some reason. Now I'm working my way through Loribeth's The Road Less Traveled blog. I'm sure there are many other good ones that I haven't even found yet!
- To answer the last question, I know that someday I will feel ok. I'm doing really well right now. I've felt ok for over a month, but I also know that I'm early in this process and the bottom could fall out at any time.