Sometimes the little things hit the hardest and sometimes those little things are seemingly unrelated to infertility. Last weekend I drove past a yard sale sign. I've always loved yard sales (and second-hand shopping in general) and have said for years that I can't wait to have kids so I can go buy them all the clothing they need at the sales. This is the first year where I know it's not a possibility, not even a small one. I'd like to say that I was able to brush it off, but the truth is that four days later I'm still thinking about it.
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It snowed today. It didn't stick. It was mixed with rain. But it snowed. It's almost May, damn it!
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If you're uncomfortable with discussion (bitching) about lady parts, skip the next two paragraphs.....
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I go for my IUD follow up next Tuesday. I'm actually glad to be going. I'm used to extended periods of bleeding/spotting, but this is extreme, even for me. I don't think I want to give up on it quite yet (all of the literature I've read about Mirena says that it can take up to six months for a person to adjust and irregular bleeding is to be expected, though I'm not sure that something like 28 consecutive days classifies as irregular), but I've hit my emotional threshold for handling it. On the bright side, if it ever stops, I'll get to replace all of my underwear!
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Hot flashes are sucking the life out of me. They literally almost make me wish for winter again. I just want to sleep through the night. Even six hours. Or five. I plan to address this at the IUD follow up and see if we can't figure out something to make them more manageable. They didn't seem quite as bad in the fall and winter since the outside temperatures were so much cooler, but now that it's getting warmer, it's pretty miserable. I drove home from the grocery store on Saturday with the AC blasting on high and a bag of frozen peas on my neck. Not fun.
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I won't bore you with anymore whining in this post, but I'm sure I'll have more things to whine about in the future. I'm thinking some wine with my whine may be necessary.
Your yard sale thoughts reminded me of purse shopping. I was supposed to be buying a diaper bag, not a purse. I lost it.
ReplyDeleteDo you use any essential oils? If so, try a few drops of peppermint oil on the back of your neck. It will cool your body temperature. I don't experience a ton of hot flashes, but it works well in the summer when I'm outside a lot. Then, last fall, my aunt complained of a hot flash. I put some peppermint on her neck and she said it worked amazingly! Before she left to go home, she bought my bottle from me.
Maybe someday we'll be able to do normal things without losing it. I think that the unpredictibleness is the worst. Sometimes something seemingly insignificant will bother me for days and something that you would think would be a huge trigger doesn't hit me nearly as hard. It's weird how it works.
DeletePeppermint oil...I have never heard of that! At this point I'm willing to try anything so I'll look into it!
I had a discussion with my doctor a week or so ago. She agreed that hot flushes (as we call them) are far worse than we ever expect, and we shouldn't have to put up with them! So I sympathise. (I still get them occasionally now I'm on HRT, but they're more like a slow warm glow than the violence of the hot flush I used to get previously.)
ReplyDeleteIn time, you'll be able to go to garage sales and pick up second hand clothes for kids. They just won't be your kids. I adore shopping for my nieces, and I'm feeling sad that my youngest niece is about to turn seven, and in a few years won't want things her auntie buys for her.
I'm definitely going to bring up the HRT topic on Tuesday. I don't know if the discussion will go anywhere due to my age and the fact that at least before the IUD my cycles were still regular(ish), but I'm going to try (beg, if necessary). My hot flashes are hard to describe, too. It seems like many people get really short, really intense hot flashes and have a bunch. Whereas mine come on more gradually, the peak lasts for an hour or two, and then they gradually fade away. I liken them to a fog rolling in and then burning off as opposed to a lightening strike. So I may only have a four or five a day (some days none at all), but I feel like I'm cooking from the inside out for four plus hours a day.
DeleteI do look forward to being able to shop at yard/garage sales again without constantly thinking about what could have been!
28 consecutive days of bleeding / spotting just suck. This time I had 11 days and I found even that awful.
ReplyDeleteKeeping my fingers crossed for the appointment, that the doctor finds some good solution for the future.
xo!
I agree with you....11 days sucks! It just wears on a person.
DeleteThe weather here has been lousy the last week or so too. :p I actually wore my winter coat while out walking this morning. As dh & I walked into the wind on a main street nearby, we passed an older gentleman who looked at us all hunched up, hoods drawn up over our heads, and said, "May will be better!" lol I sure hope so!
ReplyDeleteMali is right -- some day, you'll be able to shop for nieces and nephews and friends' kids and have fun doing it. It took me YEARS to be able to walk into a Baby Gap store after losing my baby, but I kind of get a kick out of it now. I do have the occasional pang, of course, but it's much better than it used to be.
And I hope the dr will be able to help you. You should not have to suffer!
I sure hope that May will be better. I told Hubs that we shouldn't have to turn the heat back on after the air conditioning has been on (it got so humid in the house one day that we broke down and turned in the AC).
DeleteI'm so glad that with time these things will become easier. It's funny....the clothes bother me, but I love toy and book shopping for them. It's weird.