This week has been tough. Really tough. I don't know why. Nothing has happened to upset me.... I just feel like the pain, the grief, threatened to crush me this week. I've kind of shut myself off from the world and buried myself in my work. I'm forcing myself out of the funk because I know it's not good to dwell in the dark place for too long.
Feeling down, I logged on to Blogger yesterday and read Mali's latest post, A snapshot in time. It told me exactly what I needed to hear in that moment, that things will get better. I know I receive this reminder regularly from multiple different people, but I guess I still need it. Like riding a bike with the support of training wheels. Eventually I won't need the training wheels anymore. But right now I do, and that's ok. It's no secret that I'm in the trenches right now and dark periods are normal and to be expected. I even experience a vacation from the trenches every so often where I can bask in the sun, but not all the time. Not yet anyway. Things will get better and someday I'll be able to climb out of the trenches and into the sunlight all the time. Thanks for being a M.o.M., Mali!
I had my IUD follow-up appointment earlier this week. She was a little concerned that I'm still bleeding (which is longer than she usually sees but still not outside of the manufacturer's published range of possibility) and apparently what I consider light bleeding isn't actually light (for normal people) after all. Anyway I'm now the proud owner of a progesterone prescription that will hopefully make it stop. Let's all keep our fingers crossed that a) it stops, b) I don't gain a million pounds, and c) that I don't lose my libido. The plan is to address the bleeding first and then deal with the hot flashes once that's under control.
I was also prescribed a sleeping pill. It was hard for me to admit that I needed something to help me sleep, but I do. I've taken the pill for three nights now and I feel rested and have a mental clarity that doesn't often visit me.
I downloaded Finally Heard: A Silent Sorority Finds Its Voice by Pamela Mahoney Tsigdinos this morning (available for purchase on your Kindle or Kindle app here) and plan to read it tonight! I have 23 final papers to grade standing in between me and the book (and a big glass of wine) so naturally I'm writing a blog post instead of grading those. :)