Thursday, August 20, 2015

Brain dump

There are so many things I want to write about right now but spare time evades me so I will just do a brain dump, complete with bullet points.

  • Over the weekend I read New York Times article titled A Grief So Deep It Won't Die (article link).  The title alone attracted me to the article because, lets face it, I (and presumably most of the readers of this blog) have a bit of experience with grief.  As it turns out, the article was about Complicated Grief.  I've heard the descriptor used in this community and I assumed that someone in our community came up with this term and really it did seem to fit because our grief is so complicated and so unlike anything that most people will ever experience.  I didn't feel the need to do anymore research before the weekend when I read the article but as it turns out this syndrome first began to be described in the 1990s and is actually a pretty well researched.  I actually had a longer post planned on this topic, and maybe I'll still write it, but I wanted to post the article because I can't see any extra time coming my way for a couple of weeks.
  • My dog had to get six stitches in his ear last week.  Even though he had to be put under anesthesia to get the stitches, he was completely unbothered by the whole thing.  I wish I had his attitude.
  • We had to drop a substantial sum of money at the mechanic to fix my car.  I very much would have preferred to spend that money on something more fun (e.g., a vacation).
  • Each year the university that I work at has a ceremony to welcome the incoming freshman before the start of the new semester, and that ceremony was yesterday.  Part of me was struck by the fact that I'll have a chance to have direct contact with and potentially impact the lives of about 10% of the matriculating class, but the rest of me was hit by the realization that I'll never get to drop my child of at college.  Ouch.
  • I realized that I forgot to do my July reading post so I'm going to wait until the end of August and do a combined July/August reading post.  :)
  • My one year blogoversary is rapidly approaching.  Hard to believe it's been (almost) a year!  
  • Fight Song by Rachel Platten has been a really meaningful song to me lately.  The video is quite cheesy, but I love the song!  Have a listen: 

I hope you are having a fabulous week!


  1. Sounds like things are pretty busy over your way. Hope you can get a breather soon.

    Thanks for that article link. It was an interesting read. This line in particular, "Often mourners with these symptoms are convinced that had they done something differently, they might have prevented the death." was quite poignant. For me, this is something that has plagued me a bit since my miscarriage and starting ivf.

    Your dog sounds quite resilient. Hope he is recovering well.

    I still think you have a lot of strength to be able to work in a university environment with college kids. Particularly after everything you've been through. I would find it a bit hard. I used to do a bit of teacher aiding before I started ivf but don't think I could go back to doing that (it was at a primary school so young kids).

    A year goes quickly doesn't it or is it because we grow older that it goes quicker?

    Thanks for the link to the song. I like the lyrics of it. I can see why the song is meaningful to you.

    1. That same quote stood out to me, too! I don't know how many times I've pondered the "would things have turned out differently if we started trying earlier" question.

      I love working in a university environment. They are old enough to be mostly independent, but still not quite adults (even though they would beg to differ). I think that younger kids (which I did do at a different point of my life) would be so much harder in light of everything.

      The pupster was seriously unbothered by the stitches. They are starting to fall out too, so everything is healing appropriately. He is pretty awesome. :)

  2. Interesting article - will be interested to see any further thoughts you might have. I noticed the quote Carmody pulled out too, as that is a common thought amongst people suffering infertility and loss.

    Wow. A year already! You're a veteran by now, and an important part of our little blogging community. Congratulations for the weekend when the year is up!

    1. Maybe I'll write more on complicated grief later. I pulled a few of Katherine Shear's articles (the one cited in the NYT article was in the New England Journal of Medicine) and started reading them, but then I realized it was a rabbit hole that I did not have time to explore at that point in time. But it is a topic that I am interested in learning more about and will definitely share!

      I can't believe that my blog is a year old (well, on Monday it will be). It's interesting to look back on some of my old posts. I've come a long way!

  3. I totally love Fight Song, and am thrilled we share the same "anthem".

    1. :) There have been a few days where I put it on repeat. I just like the message. Glad to hear that you like it too!