I haven't been writing much because there really hasn't been a lot to write about. I'm doing really well at the moment. I'm not thinking much about infertility. The grief is in the background but it doesn't feel like a kick in the stomach. I'm mostly content with my life right now. I don't know if this feeling will last another hour, day, month, or what, but I'm going to enjoy it while it while it lasts. At some point I know the grief monster will come back and kick me in the stomach again.
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I fell off of the exercise wagon. I was doing really well until about four weeks ago and then a combination of life, work, and getting sick all hit at the same time and working out got pushed to the very bottom of the to do list. Thankfully my eating is in check so I haven't gained weight, but I do want go get back to a regular exercise routine. I hope that by writing about this it will be enough motivation to get my butt back to the gym!
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Someone close to me recently had a breast cancer scare. There was a biopsy done and it turned out that the lumps were not malignant, but it was scary because there was about a 10 day stretch where we just didn't know. During the biopsy all suspicious tissue was removed so it shouldn't be an issue in the future but she will continue to be monitored.
As someone who has found lumps in my breasts (one at 25 and the other at 26), I know first hand how scary it is to find something that's not supposed to be there. My lumps were just cysts and eventually went away on their own, but it's a disconcerting feeling when you find something that isn't supposed to be there. As a result I've always been extremely diligent with monthly self exams.
So I guess that's my round about way of urging all of you to do a monthly self breast exam and to go to your doctor if you find something outside of the norm. If you're not sure how to do one, this is a great guide.
How weird. I did a (cursory) breast exam this morning, though I had a mammogram recently too. Good reminder though.
ReplyDeleteI've been back at the gym more regularly the lat week or two, and it's feeling good. I fell off the wagon in May, and didn't do much at all. Sigh.
Glad that you're feeling good and seeing progress. Knowing you can do this, even if you might get that kick in the stomach and feel as if you're back to square one, is important - because at least now you know you can get to this more positive stage. The grief too will gradually recede. But I remember feeling as if it was just below the surface for a long time.
Well done on the gym! This week has really kicked my butt but I hope to get back on a workout schedule next week. Also glad to hear that you're keeping up on your self-exams! :)
DeleteIt feels good to feel good. If I've learned anything in the last year it's that it's ok to feel however I'm feeling and to just take each day as it comes, and not to beat myself up for the bad days.
That grief monster is never far so any moment of respite is a blessing. I am glad to hear you are doing well. Progress is always a few steps forward and a few steps back but any moment of happiness is well deserved. Snatch it where you can.
ReplyDeleteI've been off the exercise wagon for way too long. I should really get back on it because every time I do an IVF cycle, I always put on 2 kgs which is annoying. I've been trying to rid myself of those 2 extra kgs for months now but it's not budging.
Oh thank you for the reminder. I am notoriously forgetful to do my own self examination. To be honest, I am not too sure what to look for. I've asked my doctor but I still do not understand. I am glad the ones you found were non-threatening.
I hope you can get back on the wagon, too! My hope was to jump start exercising this week, but I don't know if that's going to happen....
DeleteFor the breast exams I just make sure to feel the entire area at several different pressures and I try to do so around the same time of each cycle (though that is becoming substantially harder for me). I don't think it's so much the "how" you do it, as much as doing it on a regular basis so as to familiarize yourself with your breasts and more likely to find something that is out of the ordinary.