I need to get back to writing in this space more frequently. It gives me balance and a place to work through the thoughts bouncing around in my brain.
I've had a lot going on lately. Not bad, just busy. It leaves little time for me or for writing.
Over the past few days, I've been feeling the full weight of all that we've lost. Seeing all of the Christmas lights brought it to a head tonight.
Maybe it's the holidays and thinking about all of the traditions that we thought we were going to make with our children. Maybe it's the sudden burst of people my age or older having babies making me wonder if we stopped too soon. Maybe it's knowing that 2018 will bring another niece or nephew. Maybe it's end of the semester stress. Maybe it's all of it.
I'm struggling a bit.
I'm trying to go easy on myself and I know it will get better again. But tonight it's hard.