To decrease the likelihood of reacting poorly (and publicly) again, I asked my mom to give me the heads up if she found out that any of my sisters were pregnant and she promised to let me know. Now, I haven't written much about my relationship with my mom, but suffice to say, it's complicated, and she has an established track record of not coming through for me. But with this she did. It gave me the time and space to process the news and the ability to pretend that I was happy for them when I "found out."
A few weeks ago my mom called me, randomly, on a Sunday night. I knew from the tone of her voice that one of my sisters was pregnant, just not which one. I soon found out.
I figured that my sister would call within the next few days, or at least text. But she didn't. About a week later my mom called me again. Apparently my sister feels so sorry for me that she can't tell me herself. My mom was tasked with giving the official news.
So basically I'm an object of pity (and/or the bitter infertile).
I can deal with the pregnancy news. I mean, I'm the oldest, and I'm 36, which is not ancient by normal reproductive standards, so realistically it's far more likely that there would be pregnancies than not.
But to be pitied? That hurts.
I don't want pity. A little bit of sensitivity and empathy would be nice. But please don't pity me.
I'm not sure how to deal with this. Or whether or not I should bother. I don't want my family to fear telling me their happy news.
I haven't talked to my sister since my mom told me the official pregnancy news, though this is for reasons completely unrelated to her pregnancy (and completely related to her being a selfish jerk). Honestly, I'm not in any hurry to talk to her.