Sunday, November 8, 2015

That time I forgot for a minute

We started Christmas shopping over the weekend.  Between Hubs' family and mine we have a lot of people to buy for, and we like to get shopping done and over with before the mad rush.  I wanted to go to a specific store to get something for my sister (the pregnant one) that I knew was on sale and while I was there I decided to look at some clothes for my youngest niece.  I wouldn't say that browsing the baby section is something I enjoy, but when I have a specific objective, it's not so bad.  Except yesterday it was bad.

I am a crazy dog lady.  I love my dog to pieces and I spoil him rotten.  So when I was in the store yesterday and found an adorable little onesie shirt thing with my dog all over it (well, my dog's breed), I got excited.  My first thought was to buy it and stock it away for my someday baby.  Almost as fast I remembered that there would be no someday baby.  As I stood there in the middle of the store, tears rolling down my cheeks and looking like a fool, I put it back on the shelf.  There was never going to be a someday baby to buy it for.  And I couldn't bear the though of buying it for someone else, because seeing their baby in it would just be too much.  I sucked it up enough to purchase what I went there for and made it out of the store to my car where I had an ugly cry.  Then I let it go and moved on.

So now I guess I can add dog onesies to my list of triggers.  Ugh.


  1. Oh no. That moment when you remember - it's like a sucker punch to the stomach. I'm so sorry you went through that. Hugs.

    1. A sucker punch indeed. My brain accepts that I'll never have children, but maybe my heart is a bit slower in accepting? Thanks for the hugs!

  2. Awwww, I'm so sorry. :( (((HUGS))) from me too. <3