On Friday I had a reason to visit my local Urgent Care as a result of my first homeowner related injury (well, technically first, second, and third injuries). Don't worry....I'm fine. Nothing a good cleaning, some dermabond to close up the wounds, and bandages didn't fix. Since my injuries were construction related and I was due for it, I ended up getting a Tetanus shot too.
Here in the US there is a strong anti-vaccination movement (which completely blows my mind, but that's a different rant for a different day) and as a result doctors frequently feel the need to "sell" people on vaccinations. I'm not a person that needs to be convinced. If there is a shot that can protect me against Tetanus, Diphtheria, Pertussis, Measles, Mumps, Rubella, Polio, Smallpox, etc., all I need to know is if you need to give it in my arm or my butt. I value not acquiring diseases that are a) preventable and b) people die from.
The doctor was a woman that I guessed to be around my age and who appeared to be pregnant. She started in on her sales pitch for the TDaP vaccination. I told her that she didn't need to sell me on it and that if I was due for it that I wanted it. She continued with the sales pitch anyway. Her two main points were that all women who are pregnant or planning to become pregnant should have the shot and that anyone with regular contact with infants and children too young to get the vaccination should have it. Both of these things are true, but I didn't need the sales pitch. Again, I indicated that I wanted the shot. She continued with "someday you'll want to get your IUD removed and start a family so you really should consider getting it."
At this point I was exhausted, covered in dust and sweat (from sanding floors), bleeding from three different extremities, and irritated because I'd been there almost two hours at that point. Her suggestion that someday I might want to start my own family did not go over well.
Tears welled up in my eyes. I managed to get out "please shut up and give me the damn shot" Tears were streaming down my face at this point and it took everything I had to hold it together. She asked what she said that offended me. I told her that she should never make assumptions about people and that she should never take fertility for granted. I don't know why it got to me, but it did, and three days later I'm still thinking about it, and it still makes me want to cry.
Another reminder that I'm different, and this one was (and still is) a painful one.
You know, although I'm really sorry that that was a painful (in more ways than one) experience, and that she made you cry, I'm also really glad that you told her why you were crying, and gave her a lesson in what not to say. I hope you feel better soon. And I hope she's thinking about that experience, and changes the way she reacts.
ReplyDeleteThe vaccination thing isn't as extreme here, but it is an issue. A school completely shut down the other day with some cases of measles, and only children and staff who had documentation proving they have been vaccinated were allowed to return the next day. It is mind boggling to me too, given that the science is unquestionable.
I'm getting better at speaking up. It's still not comfortable, but it's getting easier to stand up for myself. I think that time is helping.
DeleteI jokingly told hubs when I got home that I hated to wish my life away, but I wish I was 40 or 45 so people don't automatically assume that I just haven't started trying to have kids yet.
She's a medical professional and should know better! Grrrrr. I'm glad you told her. I'm sorry it happened.
ReplyDeleteI know, right! She shouldn't have continued with the sales pitch once I agreed to the shot! I could have even dealt with her sales pitch had she not thrown in the bit at the end where she suggested that someday I might want to start a family.
DeleteUnbelievable. If you remember this physician's name, I would call the hospital and report this incident. She should know better. It's clear she doesn't and needs to meet with her manager so they can pull her off rounds and have her spend a day with HR.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry you had to go through this. But echoing above that I'm glad you spoke up. A final follow up with someone from the hospital will solidify it.
One advantage of a large EPO health system is that they send you a lengthy survey almost immediately after your visit (ER, Urgent Care, Primary Care, Specialist, etc.). I voiced my concerns on the survey and gave them permission to call me if they wanted to talk about it. I know that they actually read the feedback too because I received a follow-up call about a year ago about a suggestion that I made to improve the waiting room experience.
DeleteI think that she got it when she saw my tears and found out why. I don't want to see her get in trouble because in terms of bedside manner, she's not even close to the worst that I've had, but that being said, she could be a bit more sensitive.
A few years ago, when I was elbow deep in genealogy research, I lamented the discovery of quite a number of far flung relatives who never made it to adulthood due to these illnesses. To me vaccination has never been an issue, just common sense.
ReplyDeleteWe still get pockets of the community here too, who continue to push for their choice to not vaccinate.
I see that doctors still have a ways to go in improving their bedside manner, unfortunately.
I am sorry to hear she made you so upset, but happy that you managed to tell her why. I hope she learns from your words with the next patient she sees in a similar situation.
Common sense. Exactly!
DeleteI really hope she learns too and doesn't repeat the mistake. All the facts mentioned in the sales pitch were true, it was the part at the end that bothered me the most.
Wow. She shouldn't have gone on the sales pitch after you agreed to the shot. I think Doctors offices are always likely to be an easy trigger situation, especially when you've been waiting. It takes you back to testing, and the waiting and that anxiety. Urgent care you can't really do much about the wait, but for regular visits I always make the first appointment of the day to avoid the long wait and the feelings that come along with it.
ReplyDeleteI always try for the first appointment of the day too! The regular doctor's office, I'm not too bad with, but anytime I have to go to the hospital where our RE was housed (also where my GYN is housed) I have a full on anxiety attack.
DeleteI too am glad you told her why you were upset and that she should never take fertility for granted. I'm willing to bet she will think twice before she uses that pitch with someone else, or at least she will word it differently. If she's said something like, "IF you want to start a family in the next few years, then you'll already be covered..." you probably wouldn't have been QUITE so upset. (I am with you on the vaccination issue, too!)
ReplyDeleteI agree with this so much! It's not so much that she implied it was important for family planning, just that she assumed that it wasn't yet on my radar.
DeleteYou rock and I'm so glad you said that to her. Her language and world view (regarding her "you'll want to start a family" overtures)were both presumptive and exclusionary. It should be in their professional protocol to not say such things out of nowhere.
ReplyDeleteI had to run to the dr. to get a tetnus shot ten days after we moved in too!! Removing 1971 shag puke yellow carpet......GL hanging on to your body parts.
That was a very rude thing for the nurse to say. I cannot believe that she acted so unprofessionally. I hope to heck that you reported her to her higher ups. There is absolutely no room for such behavior in the medical world for that, especially during such a stresful moment.
ReplyDeletePearlie Kreidler @ U.S. HealthWorks Seattle (Northgate)
Good for you for standing up for yourself. Please shut up would have been the nicest thing I could have come up with, but I work in a prison and cuss like a sailor lol. As a medical professional it sounds like she needed a reminder of the professional part. I'm sorry she was rude to you, it makes me want to go down there myself and I don't even know you. lol!
ReplyDeleteI don't work in a prison and cuss like a sailor! Nice to know that I'm in good company! :) Thanks for wanting to kick her ass on my behalf!
Delete