Tuesday, April 25, 2017

Weirdness

It's been a weird week.  Yes, I know it's only Tuesday. I would have said the same thing yesterday (by noon).

When it comes to work, I am what a colleague once described as a "worker bee." Basically I get done what needs to be done, no matter how long it takes, how hard the task, and with no expectation whatsoever of recognition. I'm a behind the scenes sort of girl.

Before noon on Monday a professional opportunity presented itself. A promotion of sorts, though not really because it will involve all of my current responsibilities (with a small bit of redistribution) plus new responsibilities. This is something that I estimated was in the 5-7 years out range in my career trajectory. There are still a few conversations that I need to have and some negotiations will need to take place, so nothing is final yet, but despite people who are my senior being eligible for this, my name was the first to come up when the position opened up, so I must be doing something right.  To be honest, I don't feel like I have quite enough experience for this, but I've been assured that others have faith in me and my ability to do this (maybe more than I have in myself).

Later in the day on Monday I was called into a meeting and asked to do something, again that I didn't feel like I had the experience or seniority (though, in this case, I knew that I had the skills) to do.  Something far from fun but absolutely necessary. And it sucked. But it needed to be done.

I thought the day couldn't get weirder. It did.

The phone rang.  It was a person calling to inquire about my interest in a job.  I don't know this person and I didn't apply for the job.  The call was completely out of the blue. It sounds like a cool opportunity, but not a good fit for me, if for no other reason but it would require us to move to a different state. Still, I'm not going to lie, it feels good to have people contacting me about jobs instead of the other way around.

The day was just plain weird. Not bad weird, just weird. With potential to be really cool.

So how does this all relate to infertility? It doesn't, at least not directly.  The most significant thing for me is that I really feel like I'm finding myself again.  I lost me to infertility and then grief for a couple of years. I'm not fully back, but I'm getting there. And apparently others are noticing.

I'm not going to lie, I hope the rest of the week is normal!


13 comments:

  1. Hehe, I am glad you are having a weird but potentially cool week :-)! It is wonderful that you are finding yourself again. Yes, of course it shows. It always does ;-). It feels good, doesn't it? Wishing you a normal (but happy) second part of the week, X

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    1. It does feel good! I still have a long way to go, but rediscovering myself is a good feeling.

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  2. Thank you for writing this. I am the opposite of you, I secretly seek recognition for my work (which unfortunately, I dont get :|)
    But yes, I can imagine there is something very rewarding when people acknowledge you in their hearts, although they never openly acknowledge you or give you a medal, say.

    And that is clearly what I see is happening for you :) People stay quiet, never make any comment, but in their hearts they know how good you are.

    So happy that you're on the way of finding yourself again!

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    1. Awww! I hope you get recognized soon. It is really difficult when all of your hard work seemingly goes unnoticed.

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  3. I'm definitely also a behind the scenes sort of girl. I would like to be in the position where opportunities are opening up but I haven't chased them - not out of laziness or some sort of entitlement, but because I don't know what the hell I want to do next... I do feel like I'm finding myself: the weight from the infertility years has definitely lifted and I feel human again and good about my life, but my work is absolutely something I have to get engaged about (but don't seem able to). I think some acknowledgement and recognition would be a start...
    It's great that people are noticing you and I hope it only gets cooler!

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  4. I think that all sounds like GOOD weird! Yay, you, for getting the recognition you deserve. I got an opportunity a year or two into my No Kidding Life. I was still feeling vulnerable, but was also finding myself. I seriously considered turning it down, but was convinced not to by a friend. Sometimes these things come along and challenge us, but they can also give us a boost, and help us feel confident and capable (even though theoretically we know we are) when infertility has beaten us down!

    Just remember, don't underestimate yourself. As women, enough people do that for us, without us jumping on the bandwagon too. lol

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    1. This is just the reminder that I needed! Sometimes (most of the time) I am my own worst critic.

      It will be interesting to see if this new challenge materializes (it will in some manner, though maybe not how I first anticipated). I'm excited. And a little bit freaked out.

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  5. That's the kind of weird to revel in! How wonderful to have three instances where you are sought after. Even the not-fun one. I am glad you are finding yourself again and getting these kudos!

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    1. Thanks, Jess! It was a lot and really fast! :)

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  6. Interesting stuff. And I get it as far as this happening on the other side of IF. Whatever pieces of us remain intact, re-emerge or are created anew in our aftermath are to be celebrated. Glad you're getting some no doubt well deserved recognition. As far as my career direction and identity - I think I've still got a few years to go on that one.

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  7. That's pretty exciting! Nice to have potential opportunities and to be finding yourself again :)

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