tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6102758362320348657.post8688410544094419034..comments2023-04-26T10:48:38.547-04:00Comments on Bent Not Broken: TodayBentNotBrokenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10151724076659555122noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6102758362320348657.post-80684400940659027692016-01-12T20:35:10.788-05:002016-01-12T20:35:10.788-05:00I hope. Hopefully she'll return to her normal...I hope. Hopefully she'll return to her normal, caring, sensitive self once she has the baby.BentNotBrokenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10151724076659555122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6102758362320348657.post-50860048624920536122016-01-11T21:36:58.226-05:002016-01-11T21:36:58.226-05:00I understand your sister wants to include you, but...I understand your sister wants to include you, but you would think your response to the shower invitation(s) would have given her a clue. Chalk it up to pregnancy fog?? :p loribethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09272814565916935113noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6102758362320348657.post-64894964595423084932016-01-10T12:00:33.184-05:002016-01-10T12:00:33.184-05:00It sounds like a living hell to me, too!
It sounds like a living hell to me, too!<br /><br />BentNotBrokenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10151724076659555122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6102758362320348657.post-91108711607828622632016-01-09T03:08:25.410-05:002016-01-09T03:08:25.410-05:00I am very glad that you took care of you. And that...I am very glad that you took care of you. And that you have learnt to decline silly invitations.<br /><br />Invitation to a baby ultrasound sounds like a living hell (to me). <br />I would also decline invitation. <br /><br />I am happy for you that you bond easily with your sisters' children. I wish I had a sister! (but still, I would still want to skip the pregnancy part).<br /><br />wishing you a lovely weekend.<br /><br />KlaraKlarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17028863974858724867noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6102758362320348657.post-87538294318080954952016-01-07T20:14:59.836-05:002016-01-07T20:14:59.836-05:00Thanks! Hmmmm....haven't had iced tea for a w...Thanks! Hmmmm....haven't had iced tea for a while. That sounds good! Usually I stick to water (and coffee). LOL.BentNotBrokenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10151724076659555122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6102758362320348657.post-82151526397444184612016-01-07T20:14:23.438-05:002016-01-07T20:14:23.438-05:00Ugh...couldn't read the link without paying fo...Ugh...couldn't read the link without paying for a "day pass." But I totally believe you and it just seemed "off" to me. Oddly, this is what she asked my parents for Christmas. This is also the same sister who "still isn't sure" about vaccinating her child due to the "dangers" of vaccinations and their "link to Autism." Thankfully I think that BIL and my mom have talked some sense into her because my mom has some pretty significant autoimmune issues and something like mumps or pertussis could literally kill her. BentNotBrokenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10151724076659555122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6102758362320348657.post-71976538420741147272016-01-07T20:09:55.035-05:002016-01-07T20:09:55.035-05:00You said pretty much exactly what my husband said ...You said pretty much exactly what my husband said about giving her the benefit of the doubt.<br /><br />This particular sister tried for a long time to get pregnant (I don't know how long-my family doesn't really talk openly about these things), but I do know that it was a male factor issue and she got pregnant with IUI. I think that sometimes in the excitement of finally being pregnant that some people forget the struggle of infertility. THat's just my theory.<br /><br />It warmed up to about 40F (4.4C) today, which felt pretty tropical. Thank goodness for layering!BentNotBrokenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10151724076659555122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6102758362320348657.post-52187136604126121502016-01-07T20:06:37.112-05:002016-01-07T20:06:37.112-05:00She's definitely trying to include me, and I k...She's definitely trying to include me, and I know that she wants me to be more visibly excited than I am, and I know that it's hard for her that I can't show more emotions, but I really don't think that she understands that these special moments for her can't possibly be special for me too, if for no other reason because I'll never get to experience all of these things for myself. Ugh.<br /><br />I absolutely love all of my nieces and nephews and have never had trouble bonding with them. It's hard at first, because on one hand there is the searing pain of knowing that I'll never have my own baby, but equally prevalent is feelings of deep love for the baby and intuitively knowing that I'd do anything for them. One advantage (at least from her) is that she's seen how I bonded with the two nieces that were both born last year. She really doesn't have anything to worry about.<br /><br />It's funny that you mention a "come to Jesus" moment with her. I had one a few months ago, but maybe she needs another? <br /><br />Your comment has really made me think, examine some of my feelings in a bit more depth, and try to see things from her end too. So thanks for that.BentNotBrokenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10151724076659555122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6102758362320348657.post-38737981803001542022016-01-07T19:57:50.984-05:002016-01-07T19:57:50.984-05:00Hearing several people say that they were iffy abo...Hearing several people say that they were iffy about their GP at first and with time ended up liking them gives me hope. Hopefully that will be the case for me too. <br /><br />This particular sister pretty much sees the world through rose colored glasses and sometimes I really don't think she gets how hard this is for me. I think that she thinks that I'll change my mind or something.BentNotBrokenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10151724076659555122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6102758362320348657.post-62534001671800841422016-01-07T16:29:59.666-05:002016-01-07T16:29:59.666-05:00I agree with Mali and Cristy. You did well to tak...I agree with Mali and Cristy. You did well to take care of yourself, even though she is your sister. Sometimes people can be thoughtless in the midst of their own excitement so it's important to protect yourself. Sending hugs - and iced tea? :-)Illanarehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05203774916178621215noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6102758362320348657.post-39325430077961286682016-01-07T10:11:08.632-05:002016-01-07T10:11:08.632-05:00It's all been said already in the other commen...It's all been said already in the other comments, but just wanted to pick up on your ultrasound safety comment, as I happened to write a section of a book chapter on this back in my days as a physicist and your scepticism is spot on. See:<br />http://www.chicagotribune.com/lifestyles/health/ct-keepsake-ultrasounds-met-20150104-story.html<br /><br />I have also had a few encounters myself with being underdressed in cold weather and getting comments. I find it very hard to give an honest answer, even though I'm usually very upfront about infertility itself. Feeling old before our time is certainly not easy.<br /><br />Hugs,<br />Naomi MAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6102758362320348657.post-46264484130841053302016-01-07T06:55:36.282-05:002016-01-07T06:55:36.282-05:00Maybe give your GP the benefit of the doubt since ...Maybe give your GP the benefit of the doubt since it’s your first visit. She’s gathering information, finding baselines, getting you in the system, wondering what she’s got to work with. <br />It took me quite a number of visits with my GP (usually once a year so it was a slow process) to build up a rapport with her and have her remember me as her patient and not just another face in the waiting room. I remember that my first few visits were like yours – all these blood tests and extra monitoring and a scan. She was getting my measure, all the available info so she knew what she would be working with.<br />Now, (if) when I go, the first questions are always “How have you been and what can I do for you today?”<br /><br />I was getting the impression from your previous postings that your sister had some understanding of your angle/struggles re her pregnancy? Maybe not with the choice offerings of a baby shower and/or an ultrasound? <br /><br />Stick to your decision. You are looking after you which is what you need to be doing…<br /><br />Brrrr, -6C – sounds refreshing?<br />-K<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6102758362320348657.post-90607049624195694682016-01-07T06:52:29.197-05:002016-01-07T06:52:29.197-05:00Sounds like that glass of wine is well deserved.
...Sounds like that glass of wine is well deserved.<br /><br />Agreeing with Mali, with one additional thought to add. Your sister may be worried that you won't bond with her child. After all, she's excited and is trying to include you so that you'll be excited too. But I don't think she's exercising a lot of empathy as she's thinking about this. Not understanding how painful all of this would be for someone who wants children but is unable. <br /><br />I have no fears about you bonding with your niece/nephew. And I think you are doing a good job with setting boundaries (it's important). But you may have to have a "coming to Jesus" moment with her where you sit her down, tell her you love her but she's hurting you deeply. That you are excited and happy for her, but the fact you will never be pregnant is painful and she's being terribly selfish for not being mindful of that. It will suck and she will likely be angry. But boundaries are more important than sacrificing yourself.Cristyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04317873211902543387noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6102758362320348657.post-19032390623076425212016-01-06T22:44:02.483-05:002016-01-06T22:44:02.483-05:00If she wanted you at the ultrasound for her sake, ...If she wanted you at the ultrasound for her sake, then she was being selfish, and not very thoughtful. If she wanted you at the ultrasound because she thought it might be special for you, then she wasn't really thinking. Don't be so hard on yourself. This is a tough situation, and you're doing really well.<br /><br />I've been with my GP for over 20 years. It took me a long time (maybe about 10 years?!) to feel very comfortable with her, though I was never in doubt that she was very competent. Now we're very relaxed together! <br /><br />Malihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03928262526502319303noreply@blogger.com