tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6102758362320348657.post8503961247222881091..comments2023-04-26T10:48:38.547-04:00Comments on Bent Not Broken: Stupid things that people sayBentNotBrokenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10151724076659555122noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6102758362320348657.post-68858475913400722022016-10-08T03:02:24.619-04:002016-10-08T03:02:24.619-04:00Gosh this is hard. Trying to cope with your lot in...Gosh this is hard. Trying to cope with your lot in life and something sadder and more final is thrown in your face.<br />It's also a bit of a look into our world... as childless/infertile women, we attract the awkward, uninvited comments on all facets of our journey without fail.<br /><br />Nice that they seemed to have bonded and are going golfing.<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6102758362320348657.post-91019745766895718962016-10-06T14:12:47.272-04:002016-10-06T14:12:47.272-04:00Oh my. What to say in such a situation? I guess yo...Oh my. What to say in such a situation? I guess your hubs found the right words from the other guy's point of view.<br /><br />Most people hurt us because they just have no clue. Like, really no idea at all. Even if they "know" the facts, the impact of being childless is somehow invisible to them. That's what I'm thinking now, having been through the worst of the grief. It just doesn't seem fair that we have to grieve and educate people around us at the same time... but that's another topic for another day :-).Elainehttp://www.elaineok.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6102758362320348657.post-43124366811514614302016-10-05T21:27:02.554-04:002016-10-05T21:27:02.554-04:00Ugh! I hate the unexpected kicks to the ovaries! ...Ugh! I hate the unexpected kicks to the ovaries! BentNotBrokenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10151724076659555122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6102758362320348657.post-7831521755434463612016-10-05T21:26:33.925-04:002016-10-05T21:26:33.925-04:00I think that he will one day. It seems like hubs ...I think that he will one day. It seems like hubs and this guy are becoming fast friends. BentNotBrokenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10151724076659555122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6102758362320348657.post-73876405025078824822016-10-05T21:25:10.686-04:002016-10-05T21:25:10.686-04:00Agreed. Stuff like this doesn't usually bother...Agreed. Stuff like this doesn't usually bother him, but this time he was a bothered. He's not holding a grudge though, because they are going golfing next week. Typical guy. BentNotBrokenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10151724076659555122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6102758362320348657.post-46217511372630322742016-10-05T21:22:41.373-04:002016-10-05T21:22:41.373-04:00Yep..... Sucks.Yep..... Sucks.BentNotBrokenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10151724076659555122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6102758362320348657.post-38860669707264642842016-10-05T21:22:31.932-04:002016-10-05T21:22:31.932-04:00Exactly. I told him that at some other time when ...Exactly. I told him that at some other time when he felt like it was the right time that he could work the infertility bit into the conversation. I understand that the guy is hurting and that the hurt probably colored his statement (and honestly I can give him a little bit of leeway since he'd lost a child), but that doesn't mean it was any less horrible.BentNotBrokenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10151724076659555122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6102758362320348657.post-54314162663829284382016-10-05T21:16:56.656-04:002016-10-05T21:16:56.656-04:00I know! Such a hard situation!
I told him that...I know! Such a hard situation! <br /><br />I told him that I probably would have said the same thing because it didn't seem like the appropriate time to bring up a "well actually...."BentNotBrokenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10151724076659555122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6102758362320348657.post-26026455505703383392016-10-05T18:18:10.818-04:002016-10-05T18:18:10.818-04:00That's rough. It sucks because the guy probabl...That's rough. It sucks because the guy probably is looking for someone to talk to who doesn't have kids, because I'm sure talking to people with kids is painful for him. Unfortunately he was barking up the wrong tree with your husband a bit, at least in his approach. But your husband sounds like he handled it as best he could. <br /><br />My work infertility friend and I had the office troll lady tell us all about her friend who couldn't get pregnant until she stopped trying last week. These people are always out there waiting to catch you off guard when you least expect it. Melioshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17748771387687894229noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6102758362320348657.post-43296227065690499542016-10-04T22:13:09.285-04:002016-10-04T22:13:09.285-04:00Good grief! Yes, maybe now it might be easier for ...Good grief! Yes, maybe now it might be easier for your husband to understand how you feel. He said the right thing - he said sorry to the guy and left it at that, though I agree with the others that maybe one day he can let him know that he would have liked to have children. Malihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03928262526502319303noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6102758362320348657.post-39954002611324855982016-10-04T21:01:12.227-04:002016-10-04T21:01:12.227-04:00Oh, man. That's a hard situation because there...Oh, man. That's a hard situation because there's really no way to educate or return a comment in that moment. I like what Cristy said, that he could express sadness at what happened but also give a clue that you're not childfree by choice, but it's so much easier to think of responses after the fact. I'm sorry he had to endure that comment, but glad it opened up a conversation between the two of you and gave him a bit more empathy into the comments you get on the regular. That's a rough one. Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15868505568965284742noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6102758362320348657.post-3579745484556192132016-10-04T17:17:41.269-04:002016-10-04T17:17:41.269-04:00Damn comparison...Damn comparison...jlbfhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04311611745406030461noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6102758362320348657.post-7530165746604624382016-10-04T12:33:01.151-04:002016-10-04T12:33:01.151-04:00Wow. He got the mother of all comparisons. I don&#...Wow. He got the mother of all comparisons. I don't know how to respond to that as it sucks what they went through, but your situation sucks too. I guess my only response outside of "I'm sorry" is also "bad things happen to really amazing people. And though we don't have children, it was because we were unable." And leave it at that because it's not about comparison. Both situations lead to life-altering hurt.Cristyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04317873211902543387noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6102758362320348657.post-65399209015313709712016-10-04T12:16:36.536-04:002016-10-04T12:16:36.536-04:00Jeez - what a conversation. Hard to know what to s...Jeez - what a conversation. Hard to know what to say about that one. It's unlucky (to say the least) if you have a child and he/she dies of a terminal disease. It's lucky if you have a child and he/she DOESN'T die of a terminal disease - I think that's the demographic this man should have been aiming at. But to be infertile and thus avoid having a child die of a terminal disease - you should feel grateful? Obviously a bumbling lack of understanding from a grieving man and your fella was the unfortunate recipient of that...I honestly don't know what I would have said, probably exactly the same as your hubs.<br /><br /><br />https://differentshoresblog.wordpress.com/https://www.blogger.com/profile/16936131757889957955noreply@blogger.com