Monday, August 24, 2015

One year blogaversary

Cheesy, but seems to fit.
Photo Credit: my Facebook newsfeed
I started this blog one year ago today, mainly because I had a lot of "stuff" that I needed to get off of my chest.  Blogging appealed to me for two main reasons: first, there seemed to be a small but extremely supportive community; and second because of accountability-I knew that I couldn't hide behind my grief, fear, anxiety, whatever, if I had a blog.

A year later I can confirm that, while still small, this community is so very supportive and has welcomed me with open arms.  A year later I can also confirm that knowing that people read my words has been a source of accountability, because it forces me to deal with the tough stuff.

When I started this blog, I did it for me.  I figured that a few people might stumble across it eventually, but never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that I would get 12,836 page views from all over the world.  I never dreamt that I would get 100, or 1000, or 10,000.  This blows my mind.

My writing isn't the greatest and most of my posts have multiple typos, but this is partially by design. For the most part I sit and write and punch "publish" without much editing because sometimes I second guess myself.  I worry if people will judge me or think I'm crazy or whatever.  So before I lose the courage, I post.  It's what I need to do right now.  Maybe at some point I'll get past this, and if not, that's ok.

I'm really terrible with this sentimental stuff.  Writing it out has been so difficult but so cathartic.  I've grown so much in those 92 posts.  All 624 comments have been read and most responded to.  It means so much to know that people cared about me enough to read my posts and make a comment.  I do not have words to adequately express my gratitude.

Since starting this blog, my husband and I survived our first holiday season knowing that we'd never have our own kids and it turned out to be wonderful, I survived the pregnancies of two sisters and the births of two nieces, I suffered a painful casualty of infertility when I lost a really good friend, I made the impossible decision to get an IUD, I survived Mothers' Day and Father's Day, I turned another year older and celebrated my first birthday where I new for sure there wouldn't be a pregnancy or baby by my next birthday, and so many things in between.

I sense that there's going to be a few rough months ahead with my sister's recent pregnancy announcement so I will really need this space.  I'm so much stronger and in a better place than I was this time last year, and this is in no small part to every person who reads this blog.




11 comments:

  1. Congratulations! You're doing amazingly well one year on, you know. I'm so glad the blog has helped. It's not always easy to talk about what we've been through, but it does help. I'm glad you've found this. And very glad you're part of our community now too.

    Oh, and typos? Don't worry about typos! I'm dreadful. I can always find them in other people's work, but frequently go back to old posts of mine to find a reference, and cringe at the typos! The predictive Swype keyboards I use on my iPad and phone make it even worse, and often my comments are filled with typos too. I also edit to a certain point, then just hit Publish.

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    1. Your comment means a lot, Mali. It hasn't been easy, but it has been completely worth it!

      Also, I'm loving all of the admissions that others don't do much editing either! :)

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  2. dear BnB,
    congratulations for the first anniversary! I am grateful to my dear pen-friend who told me about your blog 10 months ago.

    I also love to write and post without editing. If I start editing, it is very probable that I don't feel it is worth of publishing because of all gramatic / other mistakes. But I need things to be published - just to get hard stuff out of me.

    I am looking forward to reading all of your future posts!
    xo

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    1. I am grateful she told you about my blog too! Also, I am grateful for your friendship!

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  3. Happy blogoversary! :) I'm finding it hard to believe you've only been blogging for a year; it seems like you have been here much longer. ;) You've been a great addition to the community & to my blog roll. Long may you post!

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    1. Thanks! In many ways it does feel like a lot longer than a year! With any luck at all, my blog will last as long as yours. :)

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  4. Congrats on the one year blogging!

    It's good to have blogs to go back and see how you've developed / moved forward and the strategies you've used over this time. I'm glad you write and share your thoughts. It certainly helps me not to feel so alone on this very trying journey. And I've never noticed any typos at all.

    I do the same though. I tend to write and just hit the post button afterwards.

    I'm also glad I found your blog and started reading. You've been a great help to me. Thank you for welcoming me to the community.

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    1. Not feeling so alone is what I love most about this community! I'm glad that you found my blog too, and I'm glad that I found yours!

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  5. Happy Blogaversary!!! Honored to be witness to your healing and growth. I am so happy that you found this warm and welcoming community. You have added to it greatly. xo

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    1. Thanks, Pamela! Stumbling across Silent Sorority (first the blog and then the book) is what first exposed me to this community, and for that I will be forever grateful!

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  6. A very happy Blogaversary to you!! So glad to have you here.

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