Monday, July 6, 2015

Dear Universe,

I get it.  I'm infertile.  I can't have kids.  No need to provide multiple reminders.

But sometimes there are so many reminders that it stretches past "ouch," and "zing" and just becomes "are you freaking kidding me?!"

My weekend was of the "are you freaking kidding me?!" variety.  It got to the point where it was laughable.

To provide relevant back story, you'll remember that hubs started a new job back in May.  As a result he isn't eligible for any annual leave until he's been there for a year.  Without time off we couldn't go on a vacation so we settled for some little local trips, a staycation of sorts.  This past weekend was one of our planned staycations.  In my last post I also whined about being sick.  While I was feeling better by the weekend, I was still only 70% or so and wasn't in the greatest of moods, but we had really been looking forward to our plans.

Hubs and I are both huge sports fans.  We found out that our local baseball team was playing on July 3rd (a free shirt Friday to boot) and our local soccer team (by far our favorite sport) was playing on Saturday, July 4th AND they were letting fans stay in the stadium for our city's fireworks AND they gave reduced rate parking with game tickets.  So we bought tickets to both games.

On Friday I was still feeling pretty miserable but was excited about the game.  Or, more accurately, hubs was excited about the game and I was excited about the food truck festival going on outside of the stadium.  I'll start with the food truck festival.  I expected large crowds.  I expected a lot of kids to be wandering around.  But sweet Jesus.  The strollers.  They were everywhere.  And with the exception of breastfeeding (so eloquently described in this fine piece, and this one from the Onion), I'm not really sure if there is anything that leads to a greater sense of entitlement than pushing a stroller.  Someone isn't moving fast enough?  Bash them in the ankles with your oversized stroller.  Junior wants out of the stroller?  Definitely let them out and expect all 40,000 adults in the vicinity , at least half consuming adult beverages, to watch out for them and not trip over them as they weave in and out of all of the people.  Junior tosses (insert name of important item) out of the stroller?  Just stop with no warning and park it in the middle of a crowd of people.  It's cool.  Because you're essentially pushing an armored vehicle so you can defy the laws of physics.  A year ago I would have wanted to leave then and there.  But I was feeling strong and all of the reminders had progressed from "ouch" to comical in a short period of time.  After navigating the sea of strollers food truck festival relatively unscathed we made our way to the line to get into the ballpark.  My achilles tendon was nearly severed by, you guessed it, a stroller, while in line.  Because apparently a big yellow sign saying "patrons with strollers* and backpacks use this line" wasn't abundantly clear (spoiler alert: we were not in the stroller line).  I may have expressed my displeasure in a manner not appropriate for "little ears" but I was able to sleep soundly that night knowing that the likelihood of encountering this woman again are nil.

So we make it into the stadium and decide to use the restroom before heading to our seats where we encountered another line.  As I'm waiting in the line for the women's restroom, I started to relax because there were no kids (or strollers) in sight.  Next thing I know a little boy, probably around four, runs up to the woman in front of me.  Ok, he's cute.  I can handle this.  THEN he climbs up on a bench beside his mom, lifts her shirt, and starts to breastfeed.  Two feet from me.  A four year old.  Breastfeeding.  Suddenly I didn't need to use the restroom anymore (no I didn't wet myself) and left the line absolutely disgusted.**  We get to our seat and low and behold, there sits a woman right beside my seat, drumroll please, breastfeeding.  I told hubs (oblivious to what was going on immediately to my left) that I was going to go grab a beer for each of us.  He tried to convince me to wait a bit, seemingly having difficulty understanding that I needed out of there NOW.  In the beer line I was bashed in the ankle by yet another stroller.  At least this woman was apologetic so she was spared my wrath.  I went back to our seats, the lady beside me had finished feeding her child, and the game started.  Then it started to rain.  It was a miserable night.  But at least I got to spend it with hubs.

Saturday the weather was much nicer, I was feeling quite a bit better, and we were both excited for the game.  Thankfully strollers are not permitted in this stadium so my ankles were not damaged and there weren't a whole lot of really little kids.  But this game brought older kids en masse.  Everything from the group of four teenagers in our row who felt it necessary to get up 13804857 times to go to the concession stand to the little girl, approximately 8, who sat directly in front of us who was possibly the most annoying human being that I've ever encountered.  Not that her parents noticed because they were too busy playing on their phones.  Hubs and I would have had so much fun teaching the game to our kid.

The fireworks were awesome, but also the hardest part of the weekend.  I'll admit that it was hard to see all the kids captivated by the fireworks.  I had a brief moment of "I'll never get to experience that with my child."  But it was brief.  

The high point of the weekend was on Sunday when the US Women's National Soccer Team won the World Cup!

All in all it was a good weekend.  What I've written about here was actually a relatively small part of the weekend.  I realized how much I've grown in a year's time because I was actually able to laugh it off and not let it keep me down.  And it was really nice to spend quality time with hubs doing things that we love to do together.

*I can't believe that people actually bring strollers to ballparks.  Particularly on nights with a sellout crowd.

**Just so we're clear here, I support breastfeeding.  I think it's great.  I even support the right to do it in public (because just because it's hurtful to me doesn't mean it's wrong).  But I also think that by the time a child is four they are more than capable of getting all nutrients from a well balanced diet of solid food, eaten at a table, with utensils.  Plus nipples and teeth just seem like a bad combination (in that context, at least....).

12 comments:

  1. Wow but are you sure there wasn't a stroller conspiracy to follow you around that day? I do completely know what you mean about women with strollers. Last week, I went to the supermarket and it must have been some sort of special day for mothers and strollers cause they were everywhere. And yes, they do push on ahead because they believe everyone else needs to give way to them because they have a stroller. And of course, I didn't give way to one woman and she gave me the dirtiest look, like I was the most horrible human being in the world. I was tempted to tell her to drop the entitled attitude. I had my hands full with heavy grocery bags at the time.

    I'm actually shocked about the four year old. It seemed a tad old to still be breastfeeding.

    I also think sometimes, parents have this blinder when it comes to their child being naughty in public. It's like they don't even notice at all. And parents being on phones rather than looking after their child seems to be the norm these days. I see that a lot, especially among younger parents. It's also quite rude in a waiting room at the doctors when their child is making a heap of noise and generally disturbing the peace and the young mother is busy texting or whatever on her phone to care.

    I'm glad you had a good weekend despite the stroller hunters.

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    1. Strollers annoyed me even before infertility and the disdain has only grown! I think that if a four year old is still breastfeeding, it is more the mother that has issues than the child. I can't think of a single reason to breastfeed that long, short of maybe starvation being the alternative. And I totally agree about the blinders!

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  2. I have seen my share of 4-olds being breastfed. Some mothers obviously understand too literally how important it is to breastfeed as long as possible.
    It hurts me too.
    Whenever I see a child too big to be breastfed I always think of this short movie. It is hilarious.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tyHm8oqkOB0

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    1. Klara, that's the funniest video I've seen in a long time! So true, too!

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  3. First, well done on getting out and surviving through all this. I'm glad you could recognise the progress you've made in the last year!

    Second, I expect the annoying 8 year old was annoying precisely because her parents spent all their time on their phones. Maybe if they'd given the kid a bit of attention ... (or maybe the most annoying 8 year old drove them to their phones?)

    Third, I loved The Onion article!

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    1. I thin you hit the nail on the head. The poor girl has probably had to fight her parent's iPhones for attention for her whole life. She seemed to have an overall annoying disposition though, so I'm not completely sure whether her parents were on their phones to escape from her..... Who knows!

      I love The Onion! It says exactly what I'm thinking most of the time. :)

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  4. You are going through a stage when pregnant women and strollers and kids are everywhere and into your face! Been there myself but thankfully not anymore. I live next to two parks surrounded by a daycare, elementary and middle school (literally). People with babies and young kids live here and then move out to neighborhoods with good schools so we have a permanent rotation of pregnant women and babies. It was very hard for me to live here and walk my dog during my going through and failing treatments. Now I actually enjoy the crowd and its energy.

    A breastfeeding 4 yo would evoke a gag reflex in me but I understand that the mom enjoys it and doesn't care. I don't care if she would see my face and my wrinkled nose either so we are even.

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    1. It would have been really hard to be around all that when going through the worst of it! I'm glad it has evolved to something nice for you though! Thankfully I don't encounter stroller central on a regular basis, so maybe that's why it seems like so much when I do.

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  5. I hear you on the strollers. :p Not only that they are everywhere, but they are so HUGE these days. :p Also, I see WAY too many kids, well past the baby/toddler stage, being carted around in strollers instead of walking. I suspect it is mostly for the benefit of the parents, who want to get places in a hurry & not have to deal with a dawdling child. No wonder there is a childhood obesity problem these days. :p

    Dh & I once rode home on the commuter train across the aisle from a family with two young (school-aged) kids. Both parents ignored the kids & played games on their cellphones for the entire trip. The kids were mostly well-behaved but they kept bugging the parents with questions and clearly wanted some attention. I felt sorry for them.

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    1. They really are like battering rams! I also se the same thing....people won't slow down and enjoy the scenery anymore. I completely agree about the obesity. Also I think this creates a culture where kids struggle to pay attention and entertain themselves.

      So sad about the kids on the train. I bet it's a pretty common thing though. :(

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  6. Your stroller description is hilarious, and so true! I've noticed the exact same things Carmody pointed out. About 10% of the time there's a person pushing the stroller who is actually normal and courteous, which is refreshing. The other 90% I do not yield to. My theory being that I went through one surgery and ten failed fertility treatments, and nobody kisses MY ass. While probably all they did was have sex anyway - big deal. More to the point though is that having a kid does not make them more important, or exempt from the conduct of basic human decency.

    Glad you didn't pee your pants, THAT'S something to be proud of, and I hope you got your beer. Me, I would have gone straight to the gin.

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    1. Exactly! I think human decency is the heart of the matter.

      In my experience, the 90/10 statistic is pretty accurate. I recently got into an argument (on Facebook) with a person (a parent) bitching about restaurants that don't allow children in them. They'll never understand....

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