Thursday, September 18, 2014
Ups and Downs
Right now I feel like I'm in a really good place. I don't have that "elephant on my chest" feeling every time I think about not having children or other people having children. It's been a couple of weeks since a pregnancy or birth announcement completely gutted me. I'm able to differentiate being happy for them and being sad for us instead of just all-consuming jealousy and sadness. My husband and I have been spending a lot of really great quality time together and not once have I lamented about not having children or how whatever we were doing would somehow be better if we did have a child. I feel good right now. I feel confident right now. I feel like I can handle whatever the universe throws at me. But I also wonder when the bottom is going to drop out. I wonder how long the inevitable depression will last once the bottom does fall out. Does anybody else get this way? My plan is just to ride this wave as long as possible and then deal with the fall out when it comes.